A few years ago, I was talking to an older friend about my failings as a mother. I was telling her how I kept screwing up by saying things and acting out of impatience. I told her how mad I was at myself for not being a better person and how I knew I couldn't go back later and fix things if I ruined someone. Yah, "RUIN SOMEONE!", that is my biggest fear. K, I hate to brag right now, but every one of my babies was an absolutely perfect angel when they got here. I am not kidding. I had THE BEST babies. And THE WORST 3 year olds. So I am pretty sure some of that is my fault.
Anyway, this friend said one of those profound things that I will never forget. She said, "The thing about kids, is they will let go of what you did yesterday. They forgive. So you just do better starting today. Today is when things change." And I said, "But I'm not perfect and I don't know if I can just start being perfect!" Then she said, "Well, if you screw up again, you start over again. Everyday. Until change happens." And that to me, is one of the greatest gifts of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The gift He gave us to change.
These are the scripture clips from the BOM index on CHANGE: Mosiah 5:7 hearts are changed through faith; 27:25 all mankind must be changed from fallen state, to state of righteousness; 5:2 Spirit has wrought mighty change in Benjamin's people; Alma 5:12-13 mighty change wrought in the hearts of Alma and his people; 5:14-26 have ye experience this mighty change in your hearts; 19:33 Lamoni and his household declare their hearts have been changed; Helaman 15:7 repentance brings change of heart; Ether 12:14 faith of Nephi and Lehi wrought change upon Lamanites.
From those references, we are given some great ideas on ways we can change:
1-We can change by having Faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ. Believing that He adores us, that He will take our mistakes if we give them to Him.
2-The Tenderness of the Spirit can change us, we just need to be in places where the Spirit dwells, or create a place where it can.
3-By having enough faith to trust and Obey the Living Prophet.
4-By wanting to change enough that we are willing to Repent, which means: a)We feel sorry, b)We ask the Lord for forgiveness and if serious enough, talk to a Bishop, c)Right the wrong, d)Stop what we were doing.
5-We can change Because of Another Person's Faith, Testimony and Love for us.
No matter how well we are doing, most of us would like to be better in different areas of our life. Some of us have major addictions or habits that are life-threatening. Some of us don't have control of our emotions and tempers. Some of us don't believe in ourselves and our potential. Some of us don't feel like we are contributing enough, or that we are needed. Some of us are selfish. Some of us hurt people's feelings, feel angry, hopeless, depressed, unloved or have no self-discipline. Some of us have made mistakes we are embarrassed of. And the one thing we all have in common, is that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, starting this second, We Can Change.
Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Change. Show all posts
Monday, September 19, 2011
Thursday, April 21, 2011
You Can't Be a Beauty Queen Forever
Once upon a time, I was a princess. A real princess, as in the Washington City Princess. It's ok if you didn't know, I don't wear my crown anymore. And I guess I thought for that reason I was going to be something really special, and different and maybe famous. Which by most standards, I am not. I am a stay at home Mormon Mom in Utah, like every other girl (Yes, GIRL) in my neighborhood. But alas, here I am in the sweats I went running in this morning, dishes on the counter, toast and gum wrappers on the floor, being Not Famous. Instead, I chose BABIES!
I love babies and I am really GOOD at babies. Even my first one was easy like cake for me. Three year olds, not so much. But those first years of motherhood and wife-ness were really hard for me for other reasons. A cute young friend of ours was over the other day with her two little boys and I spun back to that time in my life.
I remember being at a softball tournament watching Bob when my oldest daughter was just a baby. I had spent the entire day watching him play softball, and probably the night before, and probably the thursday before for league night and also that tuesday before for co-ed. We were walking behind one of the fields in between games that night and I was crying and said, "What am I doing here? My life has completely changed. I dropped out of college, left my performing group, quit as Miss SUU, gave up my scholarship, moved into YOUR condo, left my friends at college and gave up everything I had to get married!" Poor Bob. I'm sure he had no idea what to do for me. But he didn't understand because he had the same job, the same friends, the same house, the same hobbies and the only thing that had changed in his life was I was conveniently located in his condo and spent his money (and all his trophies had been taken out of his bedroom.) Suddenly, I wasn't special anymore, and I had no idea what I was doing!
My life had become this new blank canvas with only a baby and a husband painted on it, and I had to figure out what else to add. But most of the things that were on my old canvas couldn't be put on my new one. So I got creative in my search for paint. I tried selling Mary Kay to see if that was my calling. For 6 months I was going to be a millionaire. I started a band. I tried sewing. I taught kids modeling classes. I built a house. I decorated it. I had more kids. I learned how to play the piano. I built some more stuff. I jumped into a hundred church projects. I took night classes. I had more kids. I started writing music. I taught my kids to read. I sold baby stuff at the Dicken's Festival. I taught tiny kids dance. I took guitar lessons. I volunteered with the Foster Care Citizen Review Board and Heart Gallery. I tried working out (and hate it). I taught some girls how to walk on stage. I did the PTA. I became the "Director of Fun" at Staheli Farm. I played co-ed softball. I started getting asked to do firesides. And before long, I realized I was becoming.......Me. Not the Me I was before I got married where everything I did was for myself, but the Me I was trying to become all along. And I would never have been able to find this Me if I had stayed where I was.
I sympathized with this cute girl who had quit her career to become the best mom ever. She has more stress and less money than she ever has before. I'm sure she is seriously missing her old life. But what I know that she doesn't, is that motherhood and these years are the refiner's fire. And though she feels lost in a new world right now, she is becoming the person Heavenly Father meant her to be. She is being strengthened and trained and all those things she loved before gave her vital experience and will find a way to help her in her new life.
When I had my first two kids and I was figuring things out, I was asked to sing for a Young Women activity. They gave me the song they wanted. The final hook says, "Will I Want to Be the Person I've Become, When All is Said and Done." I wrote that on a paper and put in by the door so I saw it when I was doing laundry and walking out to my car. It became a part of my prayers everyday, "Make me who you want me to be."
Now there are a million more things I want to try adding to my canvas. Heavenly Father and I are not finished with the Me paining yet, but I am getting a better idea of who I am going to be. I am not sparkly or very pretty anymore, but I'm strong and solid, and that was always more important to me.
Man am I glad I decided not to try and be a Beauty Queen forever. I'd be like, the oldest, most wrinkled city princess EVER.
I love babies and I am really GOOD at babies. Even my first one was easy like cake for me. Three year olds, not so much. But those first years of motherhood and wife-ness were really hard for me for other reasons. A cute young friend of ours was over the other day with her two little boys and I spun back to that time in my life.
I remember being at a softball tournament watching Bob when my oldest daughter was just a baby. I had spent the entire day watching him play softball, and probably the night before, and probably the thursday before for league night and also that tuesday before for co-ed. We were walking behind one of the fields in between games that night and I was crying and said, "What am I doing here? My life has completely changed. I dropped out of college, left my performing group, quit as Miss SUU, gave up my scholarship, moved into YOUR condo, left my friends at college and gave up everything I had to get married!" Poor Bob. I'm sure he had no idea what to do for me. But he didn't understand because he had the same job, the same friends, the same house, the same hobbies and the only thing that had changed in his life was I was conveniently located in his condo and spent his money (and all his trophies had been taken out of his bedroom.) Suddenly, I wasn't special anymore, and I had no idea what I was doing!
My life had become this new blank canvas with only a baby and a husband painted on it, and I had to figure out what else to add. But most of the things that were on my old canvas couldn't be put on my new one. So I got creative in my search for paint. I tried selling Mary Kay to see if that was my calling. For 6 months I was going to be a millionaire. I started a band. I tried sewing. I taught kids modeling classes. I built a house. I decorated it. I had more kids. I learned how to play the piano. I built some more stuff. I jumped into a hundred church projects. I took night classes. I had more kids. I started writing music. I taught my kids to read. I sold baby stuff at the Dicken's Festival. I taught tiny kids dance. I took guitar lessons. I volunteered with the Foster Care Citizen Review Board and Heart Gallery. I tried working out (and hate it). I taught some girls how to walk on stage. I did the PTA. I became the "Director of Fun" at Staheli Farm. I played co-ed softball. I started getting asked to do firesides. And before long, I realized I was becoming.......Me. Not the Me I was before I got married where everything I did was for myself, but the Me I was trying to become all along. And I would never have been able to find this Me if I had stayed where I was.
I sympathized with this cute girl who had quit her career to become the best mom ever. She has more stress and less money than she ever has before. I'm sure she is seriously missing her old life. But what I know that she doesn't, is that motherhood and these years are the refiner's fire. And though she feels lost in a new world right now, she is becoming the person Heavenly Father meant her to be. She is being strengthened and trained and all those things she loved before gave her vital experience and will find a way to help her in her new life.
When I had my first two kids and I was figuring things out, I was asked to sing for a Young Women activity. They gave me the song they wanted. The final hook says, "Will I Want to Be the Person I've Become, When All is Said and Done." I wrote that on a paper and put in by the door so I saw it when I was doing laundry and walking out to my car. It became a part of my prayers everyday, "Make me who you want me to be."
Now there are a million more things I want to try adding to my canvas. Heavenly Father and I are not finished with the Me paining yet, but I am getting a better idea of who I am going to be. I am not sparkly or very pretty anymore, but I'm strong and solid, and that was always more important to me.
Man am I glad I decided not to try and be a Beauty Queen forever. I'd be like, the oldest, most wrinkled city princess EVER.
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