The Beginning

Every day, 97 things happen that I am sure someone would get a good laugh at. I may or may not be laughing at them. I had three adorable, manageable kids, then I had Brock, who is now the cutest, most loving 3 year old in the world, at select moments. Brock has a little brother named Blake, in the BTP, (Brockstar Training Program). I am 34 years old, have been married for 13 years, have 5 kids and sing now and then. I like to create, NOT COOK or CLEAN, which is turning out to be a great challenge since I am in charge of a house with 7 PEOPLE! I do love the people, though. Here for you all to laugh at me and with me, is a record of my funny life, the mistakes I make, and the lessons I learn while trying to earn, MY BIG GIRL PANTS.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Don't Wait for Second Breakfast

Last week, I was in my room for a few minutes. (Yes, this is the beginning of a great story. It is how the egg story begins also.) I had just made some Bran Muffins, which I capitalized because I must say, they are phenomenal. My friend taught me to bake them with sugar on the top and now they are even better with a flaky butter and sugar crust on top.  Hold on, I just want to think about that for a minute.......................oh yeah.

So, the muffins were on the rack, I had eaten 7 while they were hot and they just fell apart like pieces of heaven. I left them out with the butter so when I came back to eat second breakfast it would be easy. Plus also I fed the boys. Actually, they don't eat the muffins. They eat the butter on top of the muffins then crumble them all over the table and on to the floor. I cry a little every time they do it.

I went into my room to stretch out so they would digest faster and I could eat more. (K, before you say, "WHY would she leave those boys out there alone with the butter?", I will tell you I didn't really go in to lay down, I did leave them out, but I got distracted by the 97 things I had to do and the boys had left the kitchen and were busy playing.)

Pretty soon, Brock, who was bathed and beautiful and ready for school, came in. I noticed the dark grease spots on his bum and the back of his shirt where he had been sitting first. Then I noticed the splotches on the the front of his shirt and the butter in his hair. I think it is fair to say he was saturated in saturated fatty margarine.

Of course, when I came out, Blake, who's outfit matched Brock's, also matched Brock's in saturation. Coincidentally, they were the same outfits they wore in the egg episode. The blue Osh Kosh shorts with the turquoise football shirts.  The brand new tub of butter was completely empty except for a few fingerprints. It was on 5 chairs, my curtains, the walls, the floor, the table and them.

This picture doesn't do it justice, I couldn't get everything in the frame. How do you clean up a tub of butter you ask? Dry bath towels my friend, which are probably ruined.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Falling Up, My Reluctant Ascension

In May, you may recall, I finally talked Mister Man into letting me get rid of our satellite.  I have been working on that for years. I talked him into it once and it lasted 2 weeks until he went into a serious depression without SportsCenter. It was so sad I caved. But this time we both felt like the TV was bringing junk into our house that we needed to get out. Even knowing that, I was still scared. It was like falling down the rabbit hole into a new world!

So, I guess this is a post from Wonderland! Which it is. Once I got here,  I kept waiting for some great disastrous fallout, but it never came. The children didn't even really ask for it, they just moved on. They didn't walk in the house, think about the 106 shows recorded on dvr, sit down and fall into the tv coma. They found other things to do.

They read more. They made popsicle stick houses. They played with friends. The little boys spent the entire summer outside with the hose or the baby pool or the bugs. They got out the board games, (or bored games).Then they learned to love playing. We had a tee pee built in the back yard for most of the summer, many leather ipod cases were sewn, and the stuffed animals in our house were better taken care of than any other animals in the world!

We did choose to keep our Netflix account. I have seriously considered getting rid of it though, because even with the parental controls on, you can still see all the categories and descriptions of the movies, which is horrifying in many cases. I just lack the faith that I need to not be able to pull up a Backyardigans episode in an emergency.

So, I locked everything down to PG and became even more of a Nazi about the computer. With a little guidance, they discovered the magic of Bill Cosby. They watched every season like 3 times! Those sneaky kids would slip in and watch the Cosby Show when I wasn't looking! And I loved it, because there is nothing like that anymore! It was real comedy. Not crude bodily function jokes. Not easy sexual-innuendo one-liners. It was creative, positive humor. And it was safe.

Another thing I did not miss about having the TV gone, was the noise. There is so much chaos in my house and life, and my soul needed less noise! There were always a bunch of loud, annoying people that came into our home everyday on the Disney channel and Nickelodeon. So with a wave of my magic wand, the annoying people were suddenly gone. AND I HAVE NOT MISSED THEM!

But I do have a problem. And its name is Football Season. And I fear being vacuumed back out my nice, quiet, safe, rabbit hole. You see,  Dallas Cowboy football is a family tradition here. Every week we have Cowboy treats when Dallas scores. We put up crayon Cowboy pictures on the windows. The kids put on their Cowboy jerseys (although one child is flirting with Cowboy apostasy). And when Dallas loses, just like when he was a boy, our dad has to go to his room, shut the door and shed a few tears.

Since I am not the only adult in the house, I have to give and take with the other adult, to make sure he continues to love me. So we are experimenting. He got one receiver, without tivo. It is a secret, and I have been assured that we can keep it that way. I am told we will take it out and discretely hook it up on game day, then it will slip back into the recesses of our room.  I must admit, it feels like opening that Jumanji game, where all the animals are going to flood out and ruin my world, but we will see!

The good thing is that I know I can live without TV now. And that I love it. Without satellite,  good things have happened in our home, like dad plays basketball with the kids (when its not 108). We are getting homework done easier, and my life it simplified. What that means is that I am making Wonderland my permanent home and I'm only climbing out of my rabbit hole for football season, and other special occasions. Like a Jazz game.

Oh, I am so scared! This is how it begins, isn't it? Falling up.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Ode to the Honeysuckle Leaf

Honeysuckle Leaf, Oh Honeysuckle Leaf
I didn't know you could save me such grief
If one were to stop near thee and squat
You fill the need of a relieved, tiny tot

Virtuous, Lovely and of Good Report!

A few times in your life, you get to be a part of something extra-ordinary. We just got back from a Young Women girls' camp that was one of those events.

15 Pirate Girls + 10 Pirate Leaders = A Pirate Camp Miracle

Pirate Flags, Pirate Chests, Pirate Games, 12th Pirate Article of Faith, Pirate Shirts, Pirate Bags, Pirate Socks, Pirate Nails, Pirate Skits..........
Horseback Riding 
(thanks to this cute girl, her mom-the camp leader, and the recipe book fundraiser.)
The Ghost of Pirate Camp Present (Notice the gift bow on top)
Smells like.....Butterscotch? Bishop found the good stuff later, the "Gin" tree.
We found this lovely senorita digging holes on the beach and singing.
                                              If the log rolls over we will die, we will die.......
The Values Walk. 
The girls followed a treasure map where they found each leader who gave a 5 minute talk about a personal experience with a value, then they gave the girls a "treasure" for their booty bag. It was a highlight of the week, (because our leaders are NOT boring).
Leader Arm Wrestling Tournament. 
I did not win. One leader (El Presidente), was in her underwear. I almost had an accident.
 The scrappy baby beehive. I wanted to kiss her face off.
The oldest girl, (my dear, dear graduated Laurel), and the youngest girl, (my dear, dear daughter), sharing a boat-ride in the hammock. She promised me last summer she would come to camp (even though she graduated), so my daughter could be around her. She kept her promise. And I love her.

This was the most well put together girl's camp I have ever seen. There were so many events worthy of note, the Blind Walk, the Leader Skit, the Night Games, the Value Walk, the YW Skits, the Horseback Riding, the Bryce Canyon Hike, the Food.....I could write a post about each one. But the simple moment I will never forget, was the girls sitting at the tables practicing "Guardians of Virtue", a song they would sing Sunday in sacrament when they reported on camp. These fifteen teenagers left their ipods, cellphones, friends, boys and families to be where their Heavenly Father asked them to be.  As they were singing, the Spirit filled the camp like a blanket. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. "Through virtue we find the power divine, that can change the world! We are Guardians of Virtue, we stand for what is right. We are beacons of His love, pointing others to His light. Walking in the paths of holiness, we seek the temple's peace, and become who he wants us to be." 

The leaders were crying, the girls were crying, and I was sure, the angels were crying.

My sweet girls, Virtuous, Lovely, and of Good Report.