The Beginning

Every day, 97 things happen that I am sure someone would get a good laugh at. I may or may not be laughing at them. I had three adorable, manageable kids, then I had Brock, who is now the cutest, most loving 3 year old in the world, at select moments. Brock has a little brother named Blake, in the BTP, (Brockstar Training Program). I am 34 years old, have been married for 13 years, have 5 kids and sing now and then. I like to create, NOT COOK or CLEAN, which is turning out to be a great challenge since I am in charge of a house with 7 PEOPLE! I do love the people, though. Here for you all to laugh at me and with me, is a record of my funny life, the mistakes I make, and the lessons I learn while trying to earn, MY BIG GIRL PANTS.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

A Day in the Life

The day started out with more agreeability than I knew what to do with:

Mom - "Brock, Do you want a bagel?"
Brock - "Whas this bagel? I ne'r had bagel before."
Mom - "Yes you have. You love bagels!"
Brock - (Still not actually seeing what the bagel was), "Oh! I lub that bagel! I lub it! (Slurp Slurp) Is so yummy yummy in my tummy!"

Then it started to turn a little:

Mom - "Brock, let's take off that yucky diaper.
Brock - "No! No! ...........Awe-wight........Awe-wight! It here. It right here by dis bum. By DIS bum." (Pulls jams down to his knees and pulls his soggy diaper off by the Velcro tab, then he CHUCKS it at me.)
"Here you go!"

And it kept turning..........

He fell asleep laying next to me and across my chest in my arms. Then he went to the bathroom. Except he didn't actually go anywhere. And I was kinda hopin' not to get peed on today.


While I was cleaning the kitchen, there was magic! Brock and Blake were playing merrily downstairs FOREVER! No one was fighting and they didn't want anything for like an hour! I got so much done. I was thinking, "Finally! After three years of ..... it is starting to get easier!" I honestly thought that! Why? What world did I think I lived in?

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Scissors, Apple Juice and Tupperware. Are You Serious Right Now?

So, Mom.  I need to talk to you for a minute. First of all, don't get mad because I peed in the tupperware bowl in Trevor's room. I didn't want to walk to the bathroom and I didn't want a spankin', so that was my only other option. Now, don't get mad again, but I was in Rilee's room and noticed my hair was getting a little shaggy. It's like, a half inch long since you shaved it after I shaved it. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but me and Bwakey decided that I am better at cutting hair than you are. So I did a little work on both of us again. It's like the 9th time, so I'm gettin' pretty good. We bonded. So much, that we went to the kitchen and dumped the giant apple juice bottle out on the floor. Nope, we couldn't wait for help. We just shared a puddle of that delicious beverage. Both of us. On our bellies. Doin' the breast stroke. Slurpin' it off the wood floor. It is so good that way.

I hope you still love me.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Trevor in a commercial for Laser Mania!!!

This is my Trevor, (the cute blond kid in the football jersey)!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Don't Fence Me In

Dear Mom,
GO INTHIDE! You ruin evwyfing! I'n gonna fwow thith wock at you on the deck. Deeth Cowboy boot-th (translation: these cowboy boots) are made for walkin to the Dorde'th (George's) backyard and petting the turtles! I mean, me and Bwakey are going to play on thith dirt hill, just out-thide the yard, so GO INTHIDE! NOW!
Why you thay "DON'T HIT BWAKE WIF A HOE?" I just diggin' the dirt on thith hill! K? K, Mom. Go inthide.........Mom. Did you talk to Weeze? Cuz when I just ran over there, thee thaid I had to go home, and thee didn't give me 3 popthiclth.
You make me tho mad today. I'n gonna puth you down, mom......... Then I will kith you fathe (kiss your face). And you hand. And hug you around your neck while we butterfly kith with our fathes swished together for a long time.
You my favowit, mom.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Staying Home

I was up all night for the second night in a row. Brock at my feet, Blake next to me, so I could make sure their fevers didn't get too high. I kept thinking Brock was going to roll off the bed, so I would jump every time he moved. Blake was 104.5 when we went into the doctor last night. The doctor says it's flu or RSV, we should know today. They both slept like 22 hours yesterday! It was kind of nice I must say. Brock walked into the office between naps and said, "Mom, I need you." I asked him what he needed and he said he just needed me to hold him. He didn't care where, he just needed me. He has been saying it all day again. Everytime he says it I think, "Yes, you do", and I scoop him up and we snuggle and kiss and I don't care if I get sick because it makes both of us feel safe. So yesterday I thought, "What does a mom that works do when this happens?" How could you leave a 3 year old that is 104 with someone else? I am so grateful I don't have to. I imagine there is a bit of fear when a mom has to call her boss and say her kids are sick again and she can't come in. I'm sure people get fired! Do they? What if it is a single mom supporting the family? I feel so bad! My car is about to die, it has over 130,000 miles. We replaced the transmission for the second time this summer. The check engine light is on. There is a hole in the driver's seat, I put the heater on this morning and about got burned, I can barely see over the steering wheel now because the hole is getting so deep. I look like a grandma in a Cadillac. We hardly eat out, we haven't been on a family vacation for years, we have no boats or trailers or cabins.....and that is what I have given up to hold my kids when they are sick. It is what I have given up to be able to sit with Rilee when she comes home so I can find out about the mean kids on the bus that scare her, or so we can have a quick date of movie and treats in my bed while the other kids are at school and the babies are sleeping. It is what I give up so I can help in Whitley and Trevor's classes so they see me making them my first priority. Some moms' first priority has to be to feed and shelter their kids. That's what mom's do, take care of their kids however they have to. I am so grateful I have a husband that goes to work every day and is willing to go without stuff too so I can do this. So hats off to all my friends and sistas who put their kids, that they chose to have, first. However that is. Whether it means going without, or providing for their physical needs by working. Momness rocks. One day, I'll get to be just me again. And I'll be super selfish and eat lunch with my friends everyday and get pedicures and stuff. But today, I'll let Whitley paint my toes, literally my toes, instead.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Pirates of the New Beginnings

Pirates of the New Beginnings 

OK, so the Young Women theme this year is something close to: "We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent virtuous and in doing good to all men. Indeed we may say that we follow the admonition on Paul, we hope all things, we believe all things, we have endured many things and we hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things." 13th Article of Faith

So! This year, we are PIRATES! Seeking after the virtuous, lovely and praiseworthy things in the world! We had the best time at New Beginnings! We did the funniest skit (because we are hillarious),

we had great food,
                                                                 the cutest handouts,
and a giant ship that you can't see in these pictures (none of which I had anything to do with.) We tied up our new Beehive, (who happens to be my daughter),
and brought her to the bow of the ship. Luckily she knew our pirate code, (13th article of faith), so she didn't have to walk the plank back to primary. So all year we will talk about finding the good treasures in the world and creating good things for other people to find and treasure. Girl's camp is going to be a blast with this, geocaching and digging up golden plates and stuff! I'll post the skit in "Pages", on the left of my home page in case ye want to sail the seas with yer own lasses! Argh, it's going to be a swashbuckling good adventure!

Not Perfect

I was watching the Mormon ad for Alex Boye and saw this cute mom that had a video also. She of course, looked perfect. She is a perfect photographer with gorgeous pictures of her perfect life everywhere, (I was totally jealous), and her kids are all happy and the best at everything. They have a beautiful home and it is spotless and organized in her FHE pictures where they heart attacked the house, (which I am totally going to copy next week) and it was really depressing. We had FHE this week. But it was the last 41 minutes of a Little House on the Prarie (tivo didn't record from the beginning), with popcorn, after a quick impromptu message about turning off the lights so our power bill goes down. By the end, there was popcorn kernals dumped all over our carpet that we hate, kids were hitting each other, there were still dishes in the sink, remnants of dinner on the table and floor, and I have empty frames on my walls because I never get around to printing the million pictures I take on my junk-camera. And honestly, I want to cry a tiny bit. I want those granite counter tops. I miss granite. And I want real wood floors, not laminate costco wood only in my kitchen. And I want a cleaning lady. But last night, Bob moved all the chairs out of the kitchen while I started this blog, and scrubbed the sticky apple juice off the floor. And Whitley, 6, stayed with Brock, who has the flu, from about 5-7:30 this morning and kept turning on Cat in the Hat, Dora or whatever he needed to be happy. And Rilee called me at 8:35 like she does every day in between PE and Orchestra (where she is NOT the best cello player, YET), to tell me that they FINALLY got to play Asteroids and Ankle Biters in PE and she got knocked out at the very beginning. And Trevor tried to put a pillow under Blake's head (Blake also has the flu, then I yelled at him because Blake started to cry, but Trev was just trying to baby him, and I love that) - Trev is the best brother in the world -Sorry Trev. So I was like, who wants to read my dumb blog when I am such a mess? Then I thought, well, maybe that is how mine will be different. So, when I get my blog fancied up and cute like hers, (we are going to be friends), I am going to post the pictures of my laundry I dumped in my living room two days ago and the pot Bob cooked Sunday dinner in that is still on my counter with the bowl of corn still sitting in it. I don't follow any rules. I have no self discipline. My house, car and head are crazy. And I don't pretend that they are not. But I LOVE my family. And when I get sad because I think I used to be a princess and am now a servant, I kick myself in the whiner (wow, that was close to being inapporpriate), and remember that this is what I have always wanted! I am here! And I don't get to come back. And I must not want perfect. Because I chose - Not Perfect.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Things I am NOT Going to Miss (Optional Title: Complaining)

I just cleaned up 53 wet wipes Brock and Blake had pulled out of the Kirkland brand wet wipe....thing. Then I crammed them all back in. I wonder how many times that is going to happen. I know I am going to miss my little kids. I kiss them a million times a day, hold them every chance I can, inhale them, giggle at their words and their squeeky voices, love the stuttering and the lisps, the swarming beehive of 5 year old soccer players, and a million other things. But there are another million things I am not going to miss. Like crumbs in my bed. Wet wipe restuffing. Never having a toothbrush because it gets stolen by Blake EVERY MORNING. I am not going to miss having to come up with 20 meals for people to eat every day. I wont miss 7 people dragging their junk through the house and dropping it wherever they stop. (I know, that's my own fault for not training them, don't judge.) I am tired of picking up garbage off the kitchen floor and sweeping the kitchen 6 times a day and it still never looking clean. Washing 98 outfits a week. Everyone's stuff in my room and their clothes on my bathroom floor, (right next to the hamper). The fighting, the crying, the tattletelling, the whining, the begging and the never ending stories that have no plot. I am writing these down, so when my kids are big, with a new set of problems, I wont forget that little kids were hard also. The physical stress is never ending. They always need something or want something nearly every second of the day and sometimes night. And 1 more thing. I hate potty training. I am terrible at it.