Not Perfect

I was watching the Mormon ad for Alex Boye and saw this cute mom that had a video also. She of course, looked perfect. She is a perfect photographer with gorgeous pictures of her perfect life everywhere, (I was totally jealous), and her kids are all happy and the best at everything. They have a beautiful home and it is spotless and organized in her FHE pictures where they heart attacked the house, (which I am totally going to copy next week) and it was really depressing. We had FHE this week. But it was the last 41 minutes of a Little House on the Prarie (tivo didn't record from the beginning), with popcorn, after a quick impromptu message about turning off the lights so our power bill goes down. By the end, there was popcorn kernals dumped all over our carpet that we hate, kids were hitting each other, there were still dishes in the sink, remnants of dinner on the table and floor, and I have empty frames on my walls because I never get around to printing the million pictures I take on my junk-camera. And honestly, I want to cry a tiny bit. I want those granite counter tops. I miss granite. And I want real wood floors, not laminate costco wood only in my kitchen. And I want a cleaning lady. But last night, Bob moved all the chairs out of the kitchen while I started this blog, and scrubbed the sticky apple juice off the floor. And Whitley, 6, stayed with Brock, who has the flu, from about 5-7:30 this morning and kept turning on Cat in the Hat, Dora or whatever he needed to be happy. And Rilee called me at 8:35 like she does every day in between PE and Orchestra (where she is NOT the best cello player, YET), to tell me that they FINALLY got to play Asteroids and Ankle Biters in PE and she got knocked out at the very beginning. And Trevor tried to put a pillow under Blake's head (Blake also has the flu, then I yelled at him because Blake started to cry, but Trev was just trying to baby him, and I love that) - Trev is the best brother in the world -Sorry Trev. So I was like, who wants to read my dumb blog when I am such a mess? Then I thought, well, maybe that is how mine will be different. So, when I get my blog fancied up and cute like hers, (we are going to be friends), I am going to post the pictures of my laundry I dumped in my living room two days ago and the pot Bob cooked Sunday dinner in that is still on my counter with the bowl of corn still sitting in it. I don't follow any rules. I have no self discipline. My house, car and head are crazy. And I don't pretend that they are not. But I LOVE my family. And when I get sad because I think I used to be a princess and am now a servant, I kick myself in the whiner (wow, that was close to being inapporpriate), and remember that this is what I have always wanted! I am here! And I don't get to come back. And I must not want perfect. Because I chose - Not Perfect.