Fight-Music of Mine

I was asked to write a song for our Stake Women's Conference on unity and not judging each other. I had been working on a song but I just couldn't get it right. Then one Sunday, I was walking down the hall at church when I passed a woman. My smile was met by her scowl. 

I had heard about this lady from other people. I had heard about how bad her kids were, how they were always in trouble, and about how her life was a mess. As I took in the hateful look she had just given me, I started to say to myself, "What a jerk", but in an instant, before I could even finish the thought, the Spirit whispered to me gently, "What do you think she has been through, to act like that?" And I suddenly knew her life had been very different from mine. I understood that she had been hurt, and hated and that she had not been taught love and kindness the way I had. 

And yet, here she was, at church.

Sister Hinkley once said, "Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

Amen, Sister Hinkley. We are! 

My testimony is strengthened by the many people who fight their battle with faith. They show up every Sunday, to whatever church they may go to, sick, tired, scared, confused, and hurting, but they show up.

Now, this is what I call a "Bathroom Recording", meaning it sounds like it was recorded in the bathroom, on Garageband, which it was. I hope it's ok anyway.

The Gift to Change

A few years ago, I was talking to an older friend about my failings as a mother. I was telling her how I kept screwing up by saying things and acting out of impatience. I told her  how mad I was at myself for not being a better person and how I knew I couldn't go back later and fix things if I ruined someone. Yah, "RUIN SOMEONE!", that is my biggest fear. K, I hate to brag right now, but every one of my babies was an absolutely perfect angel when they got here. I am not kidding. I had THE BEST babies. And THE WORST 3 year olds. So I am pretty sure some of that is my fault.

Anyway, this friend said one of those profound things that I will never forget. She said, "The thing about kids, is they will let go of what you did yesterday. They forgive. So you just do better starting today. Today is when things change." And I said, "But I'm not perfect and I don't know if I can just start being perfect!" Then she said, "Well, if you screw up again, you start over again. Everyday. Until change happens." And that to me, is one of the greatest gifts of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. The gift He gave us to change.

These are the scripture clips from the BOM index on CHANGE: Mosiah 5:7 hearts are changed through faith; 27:25 all mankind must be changed from fallen state, to state of righteousness; 5:2 Spirit has wrought mighty change in Benjamin's people; Alma 5:12-13 mighty change wrought in the hearts of Alma and his people; 5:14-26 have ye experience this mighty change in your hearts; 19:33 Lamoni and his household declare their hearts have been changed; Helaman 15:7 repentance brings change of heart; Ether 12:14 faith of Nephi and Lehi wrought change upon Lamanites.

From those references, we are given some great ideas on ways we can change:
1-We can change by having Faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ. Believing that He adores us, that He will take our mistakes if we give them to Him.
2-The Tenderness of the Spirit can change us, we just need to be in places where the Spirit dwells, or create a place where it can.
3-By having enough faith to trust and Obey the Living Prophet.
4-By wanting to change enough that we are willing to Repent, which means: a)We feel sorry, b)We ask the Lord for forgiveness and if serious enough, talk to a Bishop, c)Right the wrong, d)Stop what we were doing.
5-We can change Because of Another Person's Faith, Testimony and Love for us.

No matter how well we are doing, most of us would like to be better in different areas of our life. Some of us have major addictions or habits that are life-threatening. Some of us don't have control of our emotions and tempers. Some of us don't believe in ourselves and our potential. Some of us don't feel like we are contributing enough, or that we are needed. Some of us are selfish. Some of us hurt people's feelings, feel angry, hopeless, depressed, unloved or have no self-discipline. Some of us have made mistakes we are embarrassed of. And the one thing we all have in common, is that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, starting this second, We Can Change.

True Story

Dear Mom,
'Member when you and Ri were painting that wall chocolate-brown in her room after church? 'Member when we all went upstair to eat dinner? 'Member how me and Bwakey were still in our church clothes with the vests and khaki pants and how your friend came over around then and you guys were talking and Bwakey and me went downstairs to Ri's room and got the CHOCOLATE-BROWN paint and dumped the WHOLE GALLON OUT? That was so cool how we painted the walls and the antique hope chest your mother gave you and the doors and all those clothes and the dresser and Ri's soccer jersey and that was awesome how we had enough paint to paint the carpet and then that was even COOLER when we walked out and made footprints all over! Yah. Fun. I loved how that fancy blue church vest was soaking wet with paint.  'Member how you had to file an insurance claim for $3,500? Oh, the memories. That was a good time, huh, Mom?

Brock

Don't Wait for Second Breakfast

Last week, I was in my room for a few minutes. (Yes, this is the beginning of a great story. It is how the egg story begins also.) I had just made some Bran Muffins, which I capitalized because I must say, they are phenomenal. My friend taught me to bake them with sugar on the top and now they are even better with a flaky butter and sugar crust on top.  Hold on, I just want to think about that for a minute.......................oh yeah.

So, the muffins were on the rack, I had eaten 7 while they were hot and they just fell apart like pieces of heaven. I left them out with the butter so when I came back to eat second breakfast it would be easy. Plus also I fed the boys. Actually, they don't eat the muffins. They eat the butter on top of the muffins then crumble them all over the table and on to the floor. I cry a little every time they do it.

I went into my room to stretch out so they would digest faster and I could eat more. (K, before you say, "WHY would she leave those boys out there alone with the butter?", I will tell you I didn't really go in to lay down, I did leave them out, but I got distracted by the 97 things I had to do and the boys had left the kitchen and were busy playing.)

Pretty soon, Brock, who was bathed and beautiful and ready for school, came in. I noticed the dark grease spots on his bum and the back of his shirt where he had been sitting first. Then I noticed the splotches on the the front of his shirt and the butter in his hair. I think it is fair to say he was saturated in saturated fatty margarine.

Of course, when I came out, Blake, who's outfit matched Brock's, also matched Brock's in saturation. Coincidentally, they were the same outfits they wore in the egg episode. The blue Osh Kosh shorts with the turquoise football shirts.  The brand new tub of butter was completely empty except for a few fingerprints. It was on 5 chairs, my curtains, the walls, the floor, the table and them.

This picture doesn't do it justice, I couldn't get everything in the frame. How do you clean up a tub of butter you ask? Dry bath towels my friend, which are probably ruined.

Falling Up, My Reluctant Ascension

In May, you may recall, I finally talked Mister Man into letting me get rid of our satellite.  I have been working on that for years. I talked him into it once and it lasted 2 weeks until he went into a serious depression without SportsCenter. It was so sad I caved. But this time we both felt like the TV was bringing junk into our house that we needed to get out. Even knowing that, I was still scared. It was like falling down the rabbit hole into a new world!

So, I guess this is a post from Wonderland! Which it is. Once I got here,  I kept waiting for some great disastrous fallout, but it never came. The children didn't even really ask for it, they just moved on. They didn't walk in the house, think about the 106 shows recorded on dvr, sit down and fall into the tv coma. They found other things to do.

They read more. They made popsicle stick houses. They played with friends. The little boys spent the entire summer outside with the hose or the baby pool or the bugs. They got out the board games, (or bored games).Then they learned to love playing. We had a tee pee built in the back yard for most of the summer, many leather ipod cases were sewn, and the stuffed animals in our house were better taken care of than any other animals in the world!

We did choose to keep our Netflix account. I have seriously considered getting rid of it though, because even with the parental controls on, you can still see all the categories and descriptions of the movies, which is horrifying in many cases. I just lack the faith that I need to not be able to pull up a Backyardigans episode in an emergency.

So, I locked everything down to PG and became even more of a Nazi about the computer. With a little guidance, they discovered the magic of Bill Cosby. They watched every season like 3 times! Those sneaky kids would slip in and watch the Cosby Show when I wasn't looking! And I loved it, because there is nothing like that anymore! It was real comedy. Not crude bodily function jokes. Not easy sexual-innuendo one-liners. It was creative, positive humor. And it was safe.

Another thing I did not miss about having the TV gone, was the noise. There is so much chaos in my house and life, and my soul needed less noise! There were always a bunch of loud, annoying people that came into our home everyday on the Disney channel and Nickelodeon. So with a wave of my magic wand, the annoying people were suddenly gone. AND I HAVE NOT MISSED THEM!

But I do have a problem. And its name is Football Season. And I fear being vacuumed back out my nice, quiet, safe, rabbit hole. You see,  Dallas Cowboy football is a family tradition here. Every week we have Cowboy treats when Dallas scores. We put up crayon Cowboy pictures on the windows. The kids put on their Cowboy jerseys (although one child is flirting with Cowboy apostasy). And when Dallas loses, just like when he was a boy, our dad has to go to his room, shut the door and shed a few tears.

Since I am not the only adult in the house, I have to give and take with the other adult, to make sure he continues to love me. So we are experimenting. He got one receiver, without tivo. It is a secret, and I have been assured that we can keep it that way. I am told we will take it out and discretely hook it up on game day, then it will slip back into the recesses of our room.  I must admit, it feels like opening that Jumanji game, where all the animals are going to flood out and ruin my world, but we will see!

The good thing is that I know I can live without TV now. And that I love it. Without satellite,  good things have happened in our home, like dad plays basketball with the kids (when its not 108). We are getting homework done easier, and my life it simplified. What that means is that I am making Wonderland my permanent home and I'm only climbing out of my rabbit hole for football season, and other special occasions. Like a Jazz game.

Oh, I am so scared! This is how it begins, isn't it? Falling up.

Ode to the Honeysuckle Leaf

Honeysuckle Leaf, Oh Honeysuckle Leaf
I didn't know you could save me such grief
If one were to stop near thee and squat
You fill the need of a relieved, tiny tot

Virtuous, Lovely and of Good Report!

A few times in your life, you get to be a part of something extra-ordinary. We just got back from a Young Women girls' camp that was one of those events.

15 Pirate Girls + 10 Pirate Leaders = A Pirate Camp Miracle

Pirate Flags, Pirate Chests, Pirate Games, 12th Pirate Article of Faith, Pirate Shirts, Pirate Bags, Pirate Socks, Pirate Nails, Pirate Skits..........

Horseback Riding 

(thanks to this cute girl, her mom-the camp leader, and the recipe book fundraiser.)

The Ghost of Pirate Camp Present (Notice the gift bow on top)

Smells like.....Butterscotch? Bishop found the good stuff later, the "Gin" tree.

We found this lovely senorita digging holes on the beach and singing.

                                              If the log rolls over we will die, we will die.......

The Values Walk. 

The girls followed a treasure map where they found each leader who gave a 5 minute talk about a personal experience with a value, then they gave the girls a "treasure" for their booty bag. It was a highlight of the week, (because our leaders are NOT boring).

Leader Arm Wrestling Tournament. 

I did not win. One leader (El Presidente), was in her underwear. I almost had an accident.

 The scrappy baby beehive. I wanted to kiss her face off.

The oldest girl, (my dear, dear graduated Laurel), and the youngest girl, (my dear, dear daughter), sharing a boat-ride in the hammock. She promised me last summer she would come to camp (even though she graduated), so my daughter could be around her. She kept her promise. And I love her.

This was the most well put together girl's camp I have ever seen. There were so many events worthy of note, the Blind Walk, the Leader Skit, the Night Games, the Value Walk, the YW Skits, the Horseback Riding, the Bryce Canyon Hike, the Food.....I could write a post about each one. But the simple moment I will never forget, was the girls sitting at the tables practicing "Guardians of Virtue", a song they would sing Sunday in sacrament when they reported on camp. These fifteen teenagers left their ipods, cellphones, friends, boys and families to be where their Heavenly Father asked them to be.  As they were singing, the Spirit filled the camp like a blanket. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. "Through virtue we find the power divine, that can change the world! We are Guardians of Virtue, we stand for what is right. We are beacons of His love, pointing others to His light. Walking in the paths of holiness, we seek the temple's peace, and become who he wants us to be." 

The leaders were crying, the girls were crying, and I was sure, the angels were crying.

My sweet girls, Virtuous, Lovely, and of Good Report.